Pondering the P-250

I just spent 16 hours cleaning water out of my basement. That's what we do after heavy rains in the Mississippi River Valley. At times, the foundation was taking on water faster than my pump, my wet-vac, my wife and I could get rid of it.

Much of the time, I was thinking about something that struck me as wildly stupid when I was a seaman. We had to take military exams for promotion.They were like rating exams, except stupid, mindless and capable of being passed by a golden retriever. The question that best exemplified the idiocy of these tests ran continually through my mind. While I may be exaggerating slightly, the gist of the question was this:

What is the capacity of the P-250 pump?
A. 250 gallons per minute.
B. 25 teaspoons-full per century.
C. 37 miles per gallon.
D. One coupon per customer.

I've been laughing at that one for almost forty years, but I assure you I wasn't laughing last night.

No--I was wishing for a P-250 pump.

Zero Days a Week

The biggest metropolitan region near me, the Illinois/Iowa Quad Cities Area, has been selected a few times to host Navy Week. It's a big deal, highlighted by an air show by the Blue Angels and numerous live and broadcast performances by Navy Band Great Lakes.

I, and thousands of others, look forward to the excitement, the demonstrations, the visiting crews, the displays of weaponry, the vroom of the jets and the the beat of the music.

But not this year. Navy Week has been cancelled, not just here, but in cities across the country. The annual event that brings the Navy to landlocked cities is a victim of sequestration.

This is not the place to blame any certain party or faction for these across-the-board cutbacks. But it is appropriate, I think, to point out the futility of this forced cost-saving

Navy Weeks, like Navy bands, are investments. The expense of the events builds goodwill and support among the people who ultimately fund our national defense: the taxpayers.

Military musicians are taught from day one that public performances are more than just music. They are tools for building support. A military band is a visible bridges between the citizens and their armed services.

For years, Navy Weeks have proven the value of this kind of investment.

But when you take away the tools, you can't expect anyone to build bridges.

Former MU Mike Vax on Tour

Mike Vax has played with the U.S. Navy Show Band, the Stan Kenton Band and has led the Dukes of Dixieland and numerous groups under his own name.

He also leads the Stan Kenton Alumni Band, an ensemble of former members of that prestigious band who gather annually for a bus tour. This year's tour is now in progress with dates that include performances in Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, New York, Delaware,Virginia, New Jersey and Washington, DC.

It's a jam-packed schedule, a different city every night, long drives between cities, musicians, sleep when and where you can get it.

Sound familiar?

 

Stan Kenton Alumni Band 2013 Tour

DATE	CITY	PLACE	ADDRESS
4/8	Columbus, OH	Airport	Fly in Bus pick up @10:30pm
4/9	Oxford, OH	Miami Univ.of Ohio	501 East High Street Oxford, OH 45056
4/9	Hamilton, OH	Hamilton High School	1165 Eaton Ave., Hamilton, OH 45013 Info: 513-887-4823
4/10	Centerville, OH	Cline Elementary School Auditorium	99 Virginia Ave. Centerville, OH 45458 Info: 937-469-1783
4/11	Chillicothe, OH	Chillicothe High School	421 Yoctangee Parkway Chillicothe, OH 45601 Info:
4/12	Columbus, OH	Capitol University Jazz and World Music Festival	Conservatory of Music 1 College and Main Columbus, OH 43209 Info: 614-236-6285, x#1
4/13	Amsterdam, NY	------	-------
4/14	Plaistow, NH	Timberlane Performing Arts Center	40 Greenough Road Plaistow, NH 03865 Info: 603-257-5257
4/15	Riverhead, NY	The Suffolk Theater	118 East Main Street Riverhead, NY 11901 Info: 631-727-4343
4/16	Manassas, VA	Travel Day	-------
4/17	Washington, DC	Blues Alley	1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW Washington DC 2007 Info: 202-337-4141
4/18	Fredricksburg, VA	Riverbend High School	12301 Spotswood-Furnace Road Fredricksburg, VA 22407 Info: 540-455-3104
4/19	Middletown, DE	Middletown High School	120 Silver Lake Road Middletown, DE 19709 Info:
4/20	Edison, NJ	JP Stevens High School	855 Grove Ave. Edison, NJ 08820 Info: 732-452-2808
4/21	Harrisburg, PA	Central PA Friends of Jazz	The Forum Theater 550 Walnut Street Harrisburg, PA Info: 717-540-1010
4/22	Pittsburgh, PA	International Airport

Once again: our fleet bands are the real deal.

I'm a fleet band kind of guy, and that's putting it nicely. Sure, I appreciate the expertise of our "special" bands in Washington and Annapolis, but the fleet bands have always done the heavy lifting.

Last year my wife and I went to see the US Navy Band's Sea Chanters here in western Illinois. They were tremendous, there's no denying it. Midway through the show, they took a few minutes to thank the audience for supporting them on their annual three-week tour.

"Wow," my wife whispered. "A three-week tour! Did you ever do something like that when you were in the Navy?"

"Yeah," I said. "Sometimes, one a month."

So I get bummed when I see well-produced Navy videos that feature fleet bands, but contain soundtrack music by the US Navy Band. Fleet bands are not chopped liver, I tell myself; why do we have to import audio tracks from the high and mighty?

That's what was going through my mind as I watched this video celebrating the 70th anniversary of the US Navy 7th Fleet, a 4 1/2-minute photo montage held together by concert band music. "Damn good video," I'm telling myself, "made even better by the damn US Navy Concert Band. Sure, they're good; great, in fact. But why couldn't a fleet band do the job? In fact, they shoulda had the 7th Fleet Band do the job instead of--"

Then came the closing credits. The music was, in fact, provided by the 7th Fleet Band.

Nicely done, shipmates. Those fancy-pants boys and girls in DC ain't got nothing on you.

I don't say this because I was a fleet bandsman (once leader of the 7th Fleet Ceremonial Band, in fact), or because the Navy Band long ago refused my entreaties to join them in their rigorous regimen of annual three-week tours. No, I say it because it's true:

Our fleet bands are the real deal.

 

Fun Silent, Fun Deep

The melody is the same...

...but the lyrics have been cleaned up.