NMA Reunions in Review

Today is the day I planned to be unpacking my suitcase in Virginia Beach, hugging old friends and proudly scrawling my name on the sign-in sheet for tomorrow's start of the 2020 NMA Reunion.


This, we know, is not to be. When the severity of the pandemic became clear, NMA President Whitham solicited the views of the board of directors and made the difficult decision to cancel the 2020 NMA reunion.

I hated it but knew it was the right thing to do. Many of our members could not participate in close-quarters work and socializing and make up an NMA reunion, five days of sitting together on the bandstand and in the lounge to play, laugh, lie, and remember.


Every year since 2008, I've posted online reunion coverage with shipmates around the world,  a "Live-Blog" of daily photos, videos, commentary and slander. It's an exciting project that spreads reunion joy with the MUs who cannot attend the reunion in person.

Well, I can't control world events, but I can control my computer. So, tomorrow, Tuesday, June 16, and every day through Saturday, I'll post the Live-Blog coverage of a past reunion. Recent reunions, long-gone reunions--the good, the bad and the ugly will be on display. In a sense, every day will be an NMA reunion. Kinda, sorta.

Of course, we all understand that nothing can take the place of a real thing. But we're all doing the best we can right now, with our families, our jobs, our careers and communities. As veterans and active-duty sailors, we are not strangers to enduring rough seas and looking forward to brighter horizons.

Boy, I'm missing you guys already.

7th Fleet Band--1986 Trip to Sydney, Australia on USS Paul F. Foster

Most of my 7th Fleet Band sailing was aboard the Blue Ridge, where I learned a truth given in the Bible:

Mark 6:4: A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house.

Modern translation: You don't get respect from those at home.

Navy band translation: They treat you like crap on the Blue Ridge.

It took a trip on a different ship to show me this truth. In the fall of 1986, the 7th Fleet Band flew to Guam to meet a destroyer, USS Paul F. Foster, which took us to Sydney, Australia to participate in the multinational celebration of the 75th-anniversary celebration of the Royal Australian Navy.

The officers and crew of the Foster welcomed us warmly and could not have been more accommodating:

XO: Glad to have you aboard. What do you need?

LCDR Mike Pesses: Do you have a spare corner where the band could rehearse?

XO: I'll shut down the wardroom between meals. Anything else?

LCDR: Well, I wonder if you have some space we can stow our gear.

XO: The skipper says you can use his in-port cabin. It's right by the gangplank, so you'll have an easy off-load when we arrive in Sydney. Anything else?

The band members responded with equally gentlemanlike behavior--for the most part. Problem was, the Foster was crossing the equator en route to Sydney, and two of the 7th Fleet Band's personnel were polliwogs. Those two were the bandmaster, LCDR Mike Pesses, and the chief, MUC Frank Mullen.

"Crossing the line" is a unique Navy event during which rank hath no privilege. Naturally, the crew and the band spent days terrorizing the boss and me with stories of punishment that made waterboarding sound like a dip in a wading pool. But when initiation day arrived, it was all good fun. Stinking, degrading, disgusting and demeaning good fun.

USS Paul F. Foster 1986 cruise book. (Click on image to enlarge.)

I have no idea why the Blues Brothers are
patting down a Fender Rhodes piano.

Cancellation of 2020 Reunion

NMA President Dwaine Whitham has asked me to post this. With sadness and the realization that it's the right decision, I do so:

After much thought and consideration of the COVID-19 pandemic, we have decided to cancel the 2020 NMA Reunion in Virginia Beach. We looked at other options, such as postponing the reunion to a later date, but decided it would be in the best interests of our organization and members to cancel the event and start focusing on great 2021 reunion. The safety, health and welfare of our members remain our biggest priority. We wish you well and look forward to seeing you in 2021!

It's a Wonderful Tony

It's a Wonderful Tony

starring

MU2 Tony Townsend 

featuring

MUC Frank Mullen

Time: An evening in late December, 1986.
Place: MU2 Townsend's living room, Married Enlisted Quarters, Yokosuka Naval Base.

Scene 1

 A group of Seventh Fleet Band members and wives are seated. MU2 Townsend stands before the television.

MU2 Townsend: Okay, everybody, quiet down, the movie's about to start.

MUC Mullen: While we're settling down, let's all thank the Townsends for their Christmas hospitality tonight.

Various Attendees: Yay! Bravo! Thanks!, etc.

MUC Mullen: The Townsends gave us a great meal and, now, the Armed Forces Radio and Television Service has scheduled the perfect after-dinner treat.

MU2 Townsend: I know that most of you have never seen "It's a Wonderful Life" before, so let me just say this: the first half may seem a little strange, but stick with it, it'll all make sense.

He turns up the TV volume.

            TV:
Gower's Voice: I owe everything to George Bailey.

Mary's Voice: I love him dear Lord; watch over him tonight.

Janie's Voice: Please, God, something's the matter with Daddy.

MUC Mullen: (quietly) Thanks for doing this, Tony; Christmas without "It's a Wonderful Life" wouldn't really be Christmas.

MU2 Townsend: I hear you, chief.

Scene 2. 

An hour and a half later. The MUs and spouses are enthralled

            TV:
George: I suppose it would have been better if I'd never been born at all.

Clarence the Angel: What'd you say?

MU2 Townsend: Pay attention, everyone, this part's important.

            TV:
George: I said I wish I'd never been born.

MUC Mullen: Yeah, this is where it gets good.

            TV:
Announcer's voice: ...and with that free throw, the Trailblazers take the lead. The Warriors will have to--that's a foul! But no call, the ref missed it. Floyd passes to Carroll...

MUC Mullen: What the...

MU2 Townsend: Holy--

            TV:
Announcer's voice: Carroll passed to Ballard, Ballard shoots...it's good! Tie game with 12 seconds left!

Various Attendees: Huh?...What's going on?

MU2 Townsend: Armed Forces Radio and Television Service is screwing up my party, that's what's going on.

Various Attendees: Bummer!....Booo!...This sucks!, etc..

MU2 Townsend: Damn A-FARTS. Honey, where's the phone book.

MU2 Townsend's wife hands him a phone book. He flips through it.

MU2 Townsend: (mumbling) Armed Forces Radio and Television Service, Armed Forces--Aha: 216-7400.

He picks up the telephone and dials.

MU2 Townsend: (into telephone) Answer, you rotten, stinking... Hello? Yes, this is Admiral Hardworthy. from Commander, Fleet Liaison Protocol Control Asia. What the hell is going on? I've got a screening room full of flag officers and foreign dignitaries. Two minutes ago, we were watching a classic post-war movie in preparation for a discussion on the plight of small entrepreneurs faced with the powerful forces of unrestrained industrialism. Now we're staring at a damn basketball game. Fix it.... I don't care... Fix! This! Now!

He slams the phone down.

Various Attendees: Oooohh!...Wow!....Holy shit!, etc.

MUC Mullen: Hey, everybody, look at the television--it's a Christmas miracle!

            TV:
Clarence the Angel: You've got your wish, George; you've never been born. You don't exist. You haven't a care in the world.

--END--

Figure-four Leglock

Figure-four Leglock

 starring
 David Czohara and Frank Mullen 

 and featuring 

 Ken Davenport 

as 

the Innocent Bystander

Time: 0800 on a Monday morning, spring of 1985.
Place: Quarterdeck, Navy Band Newport.

As the curtain rises, Petty Officer Mullen is lying on the deck. Petty Officer Czohara is standing over Mullen, one foot between Mullen's legs as he grasps one of Mullen's feet. Various petty officer are drinking coffee and watching.

---

Petty Officer Mullen: I think this is the point where you twist around.

Petty Officer Czohara: I'm afraid I'll lock your legs together.

Petty Officer Mullen: I think that's why it's called a leglock.

Petty Officer Czohara: Right--Greg "The Hammer" Valentine's famous finishing move, the humiliating Figure-four Leglock. Okay, here goes.

Czohara grunts and pivots, twisting one 

of Mullen's legs against the other.

Petty Officer Czohara:  I don't hear you banging on the deck and begging for mercy.

Petty Officer Mullen: Well, duh, it isn't working. Let me try it on you.

They switch positions, Czohara now lying on the deck,
Mullen standing with a foot between Czohara's
legs and holding one of Czohara's feet.

Petty Officer Mullen: Okay, I'm gonna hold on and twist, but I'm also gonna crouch down to get some extra leverage. Ready?

Petty Officer Czohara: Ready as anyone can be who's about to be subjected to the most humiliating maneuver known to the world of professional wrestling. Go ahead.

MUCM Davenport enters and watches as Mullen grunts,
 pivots and crouches, twisting Czohara's legs. 

Petty Officer Mullen: Okay, how's that? Are you in excruciating pain?

Petty Officer Czohara: No, but it's humiliating.

Petty Officer Mullen: It is?

Petty Officer Czohara: Well, I'm lying on the deck with your butt six inches from my face and half the Show Band watching, so, yeah, it's pretty humiliating.

Petty Officer Mullen: Well, that's a start.

MUCM Davenport shakes his head
and walks off the quarterdeck.

MUCM Davenport: What hath God wrought...

---------- The curtain falls. ----------

Nobody Calls Me Ken

Nobody Calls Me Ken

starring

David Czohara as the Operations Petty Officer
Ken Davenport as the Assistant Bandleader
and featuring
Frank Mullen as the Innocent Bystander

Scene: Master Chief Davenport's office, Navy Band Newport.
Time: Late 1984.

As the curtain rises, Master Chief Davenport is sitting at his desk. Frank Mullen and Dave Czohara sit in chairs.

---

MUCM Davenport: So, we may have to send the staff combo in addition to the the rock band.

Petty Officer Czohara: I don't think Brunswick will want to fund that much more, Master Chief.

Petty Officer Mullen: Master Chief, maybe I could just do it solo piano instead of bringing the whole combo.

MUCM Davenport: Czohara, go get the paperwork.

Petty Officer Czohara: Okay, Master Chief.

Czohara rises.

MUCM Davenport: You know, I find it interesting that when Chief Warrant Officer Waldron was the bandmaster, everybody called him "Tex." Now, Chief Warrant Officer Chesson is the bandmaster, and people call him "Terry." But nobody ever calls me "Ken."

Czohara exits.

MUCM Davenport: I have a bad feeling about this. A very bad feeling.

Czohara enters with handful of papers.

Petty Officer: Okay, Ken, here's the paperwork. You're right, Ken, the rock band can't do the reception because, as you know, Ken, they have a 2000 dance at the O' Club. But, Ken, the staff combo could do the 1800 reception at the captain's quarters. Or Frank could do it solo, Ken. If it's alright with you, Ken.

MUCM Davenport: (To Petty Officer Mullen) See?