A few changes

You'll notice Navy Lyres has a new look.

Not better. New.

But, you'll notice I have given myself a better, new title. Originally, I was the "Host," but that made Navy Lyres sound like a talk show. I became your "Webmaster," which seemed menial. Since there's only one guy on this totem pole, why should I be at the bottom?

I decided to put myself on top. I have promoted myself to Commodore of Navy Lyres.

Some may wonder why, since I'm handing out promotions so freely, I didn't make myself some sort of admiral. Well, remember when you got a lousy evaluation and the brass tried to soften the blow by telling you that your toilet paper-wad of a 2.9 eval "leaves room for growth"?

It's like that. I fully expect, with time, to rise through the flag ranks. Meanwhile, I'll get to work. Well, right after my promotion ceremony.

Form the band on the quarterdeck. Bugler, sound "Attention."

Crucial information

Occasionally, I hear things from active duty MUs that demand to be passed on. This came in recently, and deserves dissemination:

"'Navy van' is the same spelled frontwards or backwards."

Just thought you'd like to know.

Buddy Morrow: Trombonist, Bandleader, Navy musician

Buddy Morrow, longtime trombonist and bandleader, died a few days ago at the age of 91. According to the New York Times, his final performance as leader of the Tommy Dorsey Orchestra, only days earlier, was greeted with "tumultuous applause." This was no surprise to me; I saw Buddy and the band a few years ago. As I noted then, the Dorsey Orchestra played with the mastery of experience and the energy of youth.

It also does not surprise me to learn that Buddy was a former Navy musician. The Times article mentions that he served with a Navy band on Staten Island, New York, from 1941 to 1945.

My grandfather was the Executive Officer of the Naval Frontier Base, Staten Island, during those war years. I have some 8x10 glossy photos of the band participating in a military ceremony. I'll have to dig them up; maybe I can come up with a photo identifiable as MU3 Morrow.

Military band costs still attract media attention

Military bands have been in the media spotlight lately. For the last few weeks, we've been filling each others' in-boxes with links to the series of Washington Post columns concerning the cost of military bands.

The spotlight grew brighter and less flattering today, when NPR picked up the story. Walter Pincus, the author of the Post series, appeared this morning on "All Things Considered." (Audio of the show, and links to the the Washington Post articles are here.)

Pincus says the Marine Corps fessed up to spending $50 million on their bands annually. The Army had trouble coming up with a figure, finally estimating almost $200 million for their four or five thousand musicians.


This could get strange. The current Senate and congressional campaigns are, to a great degree, about runaway government spending, so we can see the temptation for congressional candidates to wave this story around as a flagrant example of waste. On the other hand, the story has been publicized by those no-good liberal media outlets, NPR and the Washington Post. Politicians who claim to hate government and it's profligate ways, however, tend to be those who support our military. Will they side with the East Coast elite media enemy?

All I know is we've been through this before.

Sorry for the inconvenience, old shipmate

The randomness of credit card security measures has always mystified me. I show my driver's license when I charge a four-dollar quart of ice cream in a convenience store; then I drive across the street, swipe my card at the gas pump and put twenty bucks-worth of gas into my tank without cross-examination.

In 1986, I decided to start testing these security measures by signing fictitious names on credit card receipts. For a few years I signed as "Francis Malarkey," "Feodor Mussorgsky" and "Festus Muldoon." Not once did my roster of vaguely Frank Mullen-like signatures attract  a second glance from a cashier, waitress or salesman.

In the early '90s I decided to stop the shenanigans. I did away with all those aliases and began signing all credit card slips with one name: Fred Muzer.

Fred was a shipmate with whom I served in the 1970s at Navy Bands in San Francisco and Newport. We were friends and housemates, and the fact we were both "F.M"s confused a lot of people we met, but, believe me, it hasn't shaken anybody in the credit card industry.

I've been signing Fred's name since about 1992. Fred, old pal, if you're getting billed for mysterious purchases of unleaded gas, sour cream at Amtrak tickets to Denver, don't panic; you're playing a vital part in my efforts to test the nation's economic security.

Happy Birthday to Us!

Today, LCDR Dwaine Whitham informs us at Facebook's "Navy Musician" group, marks the 184th anniversary of the earliest evidence of a band aboard a U.S. naval vessel.

Lieutenant Commander Whitham's words, for those without access to Facebook:

FOR THE INFORMATION OF ALL HANDS

Shipmates,

From the records in our office; twenty-six years after the birth of our nation a band performed on a United States Ship marking the first recorded occurrence of a band on board one of our naval vessels. Today marks 184 years since the first recorded Navy musician rate. It's interesting that this first recording of a Navy musician was in the deck logs of the USS Constitution, as both have been able to stand the test of time. As with the USS Constitution, our Navy bands have been an icon of our early history, honors, customs, and traditions and continue to play a vital role in the Navy's mission.