I hate even thinking about this

"Navy for Moms," a website that pretty much lives up to its name, has a subgroup called Moms of Navy Musicians at which the mothers of MUs log in to keep each other up to date on the doings of their darling little petty officers.

I am not joking. MUs email their Moms about their latest liberty exploits, and the mothers discuss it online.

I thank the Almighty that this technology didn't exist when I was in the Navy.

- - - - - - - -

Frank's Mom: Hi, MU Mama! Did your David survive Friday night at Rocks and Shoals with Frank?

MU Mama: Yes. Little Davey says our two sailor boys poured Bud down their throats until they were so hammered they puked in their Corfram shoes and got thrown out for sticking IOU's in the stripper's thong.

Frank's Mom: Was it Satana or Jezebel?

MU Mama: Satana, I think, the one with the big you-know-whats.

Frank's Mom: Makes you proud, doesn't it?

Anchors Aweigh

We jam. We laugh. For four days we share stories of bad gigs, fair winds and good grandchildren.

But the highlight of a Navy Musicians Association reunion comes on Saturday night: a Navy band files into the ballroom, the conductor gives the downbeat and a hundred or more former MUs rise and snap to attention at the playing of the song that, with every passing year, means a little more to us.

U.S. Fleet Forces Band, 27JUN09, LCDR Kevin Bissell conducting.

"America" has never been more beautiful

On Saturday, June 27, LCDR Kevin Bissell conducted the U.S. Fleet Forces Band at the closing dinner/dance of the Navy Musician Association's 2009 reunion.

The band played Mr. Bissell's selection of American and British marches with the precision, balance and artistry we former Navy musicians have come to expect from today's young, professional MUs. We expect it, yet it always catches us by surprise.

For me, that catch-in-the-throat moment came when Mr. Bissel cued a drum roll and the opening strains of the Carmen Dragon arrangement of "America, the Beautiful" filled the ballroom. This piece holds memories for many of us, and to hear it played with such fullness and resonance, not by a concert band or wind ensemble, but by a stand-up, fleet ceremonial band--a "bag band"--was, and is, inspiring.

It's a talented and vigorous generation of MUs that has stepped into our shoes.

Heartbreaker

End of the cruise

You spend weeks, months, riding ships and buses, playing two, three shows a day with the same bunch of guys, sleeping next to them, eating with them, cursing them, smelling them, fighting with them. Some shows bring crowds of thousands to their feet; others barely attract the attention of a couple of streetwalkers and a guy with a push-broom.

You think the punishment will never end, but eventually you get back home, run down the gangplank and take off on a hard-earned 48-hour liberty. Freed from close confinement with the idiot brigade, you hit the beach, reveling in your freedom until the town closes down and you go home to hit the rack.

You wake up late the next morning, stretch, take a deep breath and it hits you: fifteen other guys aren't stinking up the room with body odor, onion rings and lousy jokes. You roll out of the rack and there's nobody there to try to mooch money off you. You shuffle into the head and don't have to wait on line. You stand there in your skivvies, staring at the wall, and you say to yourself:

"Now what?"

Kids among goats

During the Saturday night dinner/dance, some bold members of the Fleet Forces band summoned up the courage to join us on the bandstand. First, a young MU took a spot in the trombone section, next a drummer climbed aboard and pretty soon half the NMA Big Band was sporting flashy crackerjacks and youthful enthusiam.

"...to emphasize the importance of music in the Navy"

ADM Jonathan W. Greenert wanted a ticket to the Saturday Night Dinner/Dance of the 2009 reunion of the Navy Musicians Association.

The admiral got his way, perhaps because we were playing in his backyard; he's the Commander of U.S. Fleet Forces Command, formerly known as the United States Atlantic Fleet.

Admiral Greenert sees the Fleet Forces Ceremonial Band regularly; it is, after all, his band. Yet, I doubt he has ever seen  the band greeted with greater appreciation than that shown by the Navy Musicians Association on Saturday night. The applause began as the first piccolo player entered the ballroom, grew to a roar as bandsmen followed in single file, and by the time the last tuba player came through the door, the ballroom was awash in a tidal wave of appreciation. It is not often that a Navy band earns a standing ovation before playing. 

In a few weeks, ADM Greenert will move to the position of Vice Chief of Naval Operations, a job in which he will deal with the perennial proposals to cut bands and reduce their funding. I can't help thinking that when such paperwork comes across his desk, he'll remember the Fleet Forces Band's stirring rendition of "Army of the Nile" and the wild applause that followed the closing chord.

The mission of the Navy Musicians Association is, in part, "to emphasize the importance of music in the Navy." I'd say that by showing Admiral Greenert our appreciation of the professionalism and artistry of the Fleet Forces Band, we completed our mission.

Although we'll never know, perhaps our efforts will, in some small way, help prod ADM Greenert to increase music program funding. Who knows; maybe he'll even get the NMA some new stand lights and an electric piano with a functional middle "c."

Hey, I'm thinking big.

Got videos?

The lounge and rehearsal spaces of the Holiday Inn were visited by quite a few MUs with video cameras last week.

We want to see them. Especially videos.

(Sure, we like photos, too. Go ahead, send me the URL to your online albums, and I'll link to it).

But We Want Videos. Got a video from the NMA reunion on YouTube or similar video host? Send me the URL.

Max Murray, for instance, sent me the embedded link to a YouTube clip of me demonstrating the one-chord guitar technique that got me where I am today, As a self-sacrificial Jesus-like exemplar of humility, I've linked to it a few posts below, so you can see the awesome results you'll get if you send me your video links.

Put 'em up on any video hosting site--YouTube is a favorite--and tell me where they are. It's that simple.

Like playing the guitar.